I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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