How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
