One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
