Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
