in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
