A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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