My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
