I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
