Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
