I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
