are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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