what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
my liver is dry heaving
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
