38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
