Where is the hickey?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
