Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
