I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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