Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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