FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
