great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
