I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
