We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
