who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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