Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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