sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
