i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
