YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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