His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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