...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
