Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
