how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
