turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
