I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
