Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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