Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
