I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
