I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize