96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
