he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
