I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
