I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
