lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
