I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize