how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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