Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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