Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
