i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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