her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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