Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
