i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
