So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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