Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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