i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
