I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
