You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
