Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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