i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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