Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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