I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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