If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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