Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
