i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ugly people sure do ruin things
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
