we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just found puke in my bra..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
