I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
