i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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