so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oh god it's open bar.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
