Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
