Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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