I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
