1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he shaved USA in his pubs
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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