Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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