You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
