Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No subtext here. People are naked.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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