with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
