This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
